to my kid on their tenth birthday

Holden, Holdy, Turd, Troll,

Today is your 10th birthday: the “double digits,” as you’ve been saying.

You just finished fourth grade at York Academy and were sad to finish the year because you’ll miss your friends. Of course, you’ll still talk to them all day long on Snapchat, Roblox and FaceTime anyway…

You love Hello Kitty, lots of accessories, Japanese kawaii culture, anime, making TikToks, and slime and fidgets. You’re not into books, sitting through a whole movie, or being asked to do anything to help around the house.

Your wardrobe currently consists of Hello Kitty shirts, pajama pants that are always too short and stolen clothes from my closet. You like to go thrift shopping; Wednesdays at Community Aid and Salvo are your favorites. You might be a literal hoarder. I’m keeping an eye on the situation.

You’ve also adopted a (kind of weird) old lady aesthetic and wear my shower cap around the house.

Your best friend is Saiana, who somehow magically appears at our house out of nowhere, followed by the two of you conning us into school-night sleepovers.

We started your birthday celebration last night with a sleepover with Saiana and Tyleah. I don’t even want to know what time you went to bed.

We welcomed a new buddy, Carl the cat, this year. The two of you have a pretty sweet relationship. He likes to nap on top of Spider’s rat cage (yes, the rats, Minnie and Spider, are still hanging around though Minnie is definitely not long for this world at this point).

You’ve requested that we use They/Them pronouns to describe you and have really embraced Pride culture. I think you were initially attracted by the rainbows, tbh, and then felt welcomed to embrace your full, weird self.

You and your brother fight mercilessly and relentlessly, but you’ve also got his back at school and on the block. You say you’re the only one who’s allowed to bully him.

You’re sweet and funny and goofy and silly and super gross. Our days are never boring with you around. We love you very much and enjoy watching you grow into a bigger weirdo year after year. Happy Birthday, kid!