a tale of two eaters

In honor of Restaurant Week York‘s triumphant return February 21-28, let’s talk about eating, shall we?

GB’s stance toward food is best described by the classic Hasbro game popular in the 1980’s:

The kid loves to eat. He’s just about to the point where he’s saying, “screw the bottle; gimme the good stuff.” He’s all about the table food, grubbing hungrily and pounding on his highchair tray for more. He screeches at me if I don’t feed him fast enough, so I pretty much just let him feed himself baby-size chunks of food now. Needless to say, mealtimes are somewhat messy.

Holden’s attitude toward food, however, is best described by the new soon-to-be-classic book by the same authors of Go the F*** to Sleep:

It even looks like Holden on the cover.

Holden’s current diet consists of:

Pancakes
Half chocolate/half regular milk
Organic hipster “toaster pastries” that I bought because I figure if all she’ll eat are Pop Tarts, I should at least buy her ones made with “real” ingredients
Toothpaste (she hasn’t quite figured out the whole teeth-brushing business, though she of course insists on doing it herself)

It’s seriously the most frustrating thing. She used to be such a good eater. Now she’s just not that into it… in my presence anyway. Allegedly she eats her lunch at school every day, so at least I know she’s eating a real meal at least three times a week. But otherwise, breakfast foods are about the extent of her palate. It’s brinner most days of the week.

This is just a phase, right?

ps, if you haven’t listened to Bryan Cranston read You Have to F***ing Eat, here’s a preview. Language, obviously.